........................(vents quietly in corner)

You all have no idea how scared I am to upload this.....
obviously more than everything else......

My tablet stopped working......drawing happens to be one of my main pass times.
I use it to somewhat distract myself from my own thoughts....I can't do that now.

Its semi making me more upfront about things.



You all know how I am about comments, and If you don't well I guess you will learn now.
Like the gif I put above I have insanely high standards. I also have a hard time internalizing comments that are positive.

The video that's from:
 

In that video Jaiden talks about a lot of things I also 
happen to be dealing with, but I'm dealing with them now....

I normally just make vent art and upload it then run off to hide,
I do that so you guess don't have to deal with my problems....
You know?
Dunno if it makes any sense but, If it hurts you to know I'm seriously
hurting/hurting myself, then i'm not gonna want to tell you....
I have this idea in my head that I should just take care of other people instead of myself....
its easier.....an you all know me to be pretty lazy, but its also cause I 
don't know how to take care of myself necessarily....

I'm not here for pity, and I sound like I'm just copying Jaiden's video but without all the stuff
that made her video appealing. Like her art and voice, and actually looking cool.



This small bit of her video is the definition of me and my standards.
I always think of what I've made and even my self as simply
"not good enough"

I'm also not here to ask for people to try to prove me wrong. 
This is me just getting it off my chest to the only people
I know I can , and aren't my parents.....I'm scared to talk to them about this.
Don't worry they know somewhat of how I feel.

So If you see me upload vent art, probably tommorow, thats why.
My tablet doesn't work, i'm sad and a pessimist and
blah blah blah

I will be soo very surprised if any one would take the time to listen/read about me
being basically emo...... and well i guess  can say , Thanks to you.

Sorry I probably used horrendous grammar and spelling throughout 
this whole writing thing.....

Bye I guess.
gotta copy paste this to all my accounts, 
then be afraid of my accounts for a while.